Envy. Envy is bad. But it is genuine. You know what's better than envy - hate. Because there is no dilution in that emotion. And you, my love, feel that you are far from love because of the milligrams of hate you harness in tiny corners of your heart. Every human does!
I know he left you crying. I know your friends don't get you. You have no friends whatsoever, but you exist. And believe me, if you exist with a little love, life would be so different.
Do you believe in magic? Do you want to see it? Love people despite the hurt and see what happens to their eyes. Dance and tell. Write and tell. Sing and tell. But, express. I know you can't. The hurt is too overpowering. You believe that no one deserves your grace. But you do, sweetheart!! In loving others you will discover yourself again. Forgive the annoying little habits of people. Forgive all those who have taken joy away from you. Forgive those who have betrayed and those who have left you because of your incompleteness. It's difficult to complete others when they are not complete themselves. You are. Forgive yourself and love.
Love like you are a magician, born to turn every wailing face into a smiling one. Let the spark in you ignite one more time and pass on your light to the people around you. Enough of this hate. When you keep love to yourself, it never grows. So is the case with hurt. Stop wherever you are and breathe.
Live the moment and feel the love.
You are now the light bearer, Zuri. You don't know it. Don't pretend that you are cold with remorse, whereas you are an entity of love. Go forth and be yourself. You are not enveloped by sadness or pessimism, they are just illusions. Love oozes out of cracks and you are full of them.
Let it flow, like a stream, a never ending stream and let all those who've let you down know, that you have gotten back up and forgiven them. There is nothing more powerful than forgiveness. Let go.