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Believe me, emotional abuse is worse than anything else, gender irrespective. It works it's way inside out.
If you have been hurt over and over by a certain habit or tendency of the other person, say lies, cheating, anger, manipulative nature, or any such behavior, and you feel that you have endured enough, you must break the cycle of pain and suffering. This never means that you end the relationship, or get a divorce, or stop loving. This means, you owe yourself peace of mind, happiness and a life free of stress and anxiety, and you should give yourself all of this. There are other commitments which are already taking a toll and an abusive relationship should be the first thing you should get rid of.
A very useful advice that I came across in the form of a letter is this:
I have been thinking of writing to you on many occasions good and bad. Recently, the whole issue about xyz has been bothering me. I know and i can assume what you would say and make me believe, but for once lets talk about you.
So now, you have basically ruined almost decade either loving, wanting to love, or waiting for love. So i think we can give this a rest. You have a new (hopefully very good and promising) life in store already. Go with the flow, don't overthink, overdo and over indulge. Stop being reckless, you have a long way to go. Love in your life will keep coming and going, and maybe it'll stay; but your life can't revolve around or stop at a totally messed up relationship.It may not be applicable for each and every individual, because situations are different. But there is a lot to take from this piece of advice. I took it too!
There is always an unknown that is waiting to be sought. It is very exciting and the chances for new discoveries are immense. We do not give ourselves enough credit or we do not have enough self belief to embark upon a new journey altogether. We stay stuck in the comfort zone of pain, and suffering and we cannot imagine a world which could be free of all this. Remember, you cannot get rid of people, but you can get rid of the negativity. Sometimes people too!
Find help, don't stay when you know it's time to go, don't put up with something that is making you lose your essence, your sanity, your identity. You were meant to shine, and you should, by all means!
... Go with the flow! Don't Resist!
Part 2: in next week's Thoughtful Thursday : How to break the Emotional Abuse Loop!