Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Love the person, or their deeds?

A few instances in the recent past, made me brood over this topic. Uncalled for, but what is life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare. Therefore, while staring at life, at a point, I started wondering whether people love me for who I am, or for what I do. I know a few people who have loved me because I have bought them gifts, I have thrown parties for them, treated them, driven them to places. I also know a few people who say they love me because I hear them out, because I am a good friend. But I am much more. Beyond these obvious qualities, which I express and do, which do seem pretty, I have a dark side too. I have my negatives and I am not proud of them, but I do have them. 

I get angry. I am impulsive. I am a pessimist most of the times, and like I have said on this blog over and over, it takes me time to creep out of the obscurity and appreciate the optimism. I am this person, and I accept myself the way I am. But many people don't. They love me for what I do for them. And when I get angry, impulsive, they stop loving me! They stop it altogether. Is it so easy to un-love someone? They only love the Good Obscure Optimist who always says pleasant things, who showers gifts and treats, who writes pretty poems on muses. But one bad post, makes her a horrible person, and makes people un-love her instantly. I get immediate texts saying, "I don't think I like you anymore". I laugh at such times. Not because it is funny, but because I am one of the outcasts! And I love that feeling.

When I talk about Love here, it is not just "ishq-wala-love", but general love. I tried to understand how do I go about it. I love and hold a few people close to my heart. I could do anything for them. I could fight the world, bare the storm, give all that I have and stand up for them, no matter what. That's how I love. That's my loyalty. Even if they have their negatives, even if they get angry at times, if they lie, if they get mean, or rude or go around making new friends, I would still love them. Because I never loved them, for what they did, I always loved them for who they were. 

Everyone comes with a package. Like I have mentioned in my earlier posts, for me love is acceptance. I accept the other person with this entire package be it positives or negatives. They may give me a pretty pair of earrings one summer, and I could feel elated, but that doesn't boost my love to turn into a craze, or they might lie to me, or get angry and say things, but that doesn't make me love them any less. I may get upset, sad, but I do not stop loving them. 

How does one stop loving people? How can one stop caring? This is the strangest question ever. I wonder, how manipulative emotions are, for some people, with so many "ifs and buts". We hurt our parents so much as we grow up, telling them our way of going about things. They may be right in their place, but we have this different view of life and things, and we teach them, instead, how their approach should be. Despite all this, our parents love us. Then, why is there so much adulteration in other loves. Love amongst friends or partners?

I am lucky to have a few people who take me the way I am, and despite my ugly side, they still stick around. They have not left me, and I am sure, after going through the worst, they are going to stick around for the rest of the life. On one hand, some people make me question the piety of love, on the other hand, some make me believe, that it's ok to live in hope. I have experiences both good and bad, but I have come to learn one thing for sure. I would always love a person for who they are, and not for what they do. Because a human being is a result of its circumstances, and it is not right to judge the act and conclude my feeling towards that person. With time, things may get better and my judgments may change. So loving the other person, is the best way to live. There is no other way! :)

Simple realisations, at times, make life totally worth living! :)


PS: Yes, even if the person I love, turns into a terrorist, I cannot come to hate that person. I have given it a thought.. Pretty much!