Thursday, October 17, 2013

Pain and Punjabi Music

Since over a week I am in a lot of pain. Heel pain. The doctor who comes at work told me, that may be I could have a ligament tear, because I am unable to walk. At all. She suggested me the usual X-rays, ortho consult blah blah blah.. Following that, she suggested wearing proper footwear etc. Frankly, I did not see an ortho, because I thought if I was able to manage anyway, it probably wasn't that bad. But it was.

To push myself further, I exercised daily since last one week, and there was a point, and that point came today, that it ached so so much that my feet started feeling numb. Totally. While dancing, I couldn't feel my feet at all. The knees kept hurting all the more, and I just did not know what to do.

I go for this aerobics classes, where Thursdays they teach us Bollywood style. So, for over 30 minutes, I danced in pain and then "I've become so numb" started playing in my head as my body realized that perhaps the feet have separated from my body, and I am just on my knees.

After dancing to all latest Bollywood songs, the trainer put Punjabi tracks. This is usually my favorite part. I was torn down completely. Tears, almost trickling down, because of the unbearable pain. But then, Bhangra began. I usually follow all steps and dance my heart out in the second half of the class. I had no idea, why Punjabi music was so liberating until today.

The song began :

Taare ginn ginn yaad'ch teri main ta jaaga raata nu
rokh na pawan akhiya wicho gham diya barsaata nu

I had never concentrated on the lyrics, assuming I would never understand them. The beats were so catchy that I loved this particular song anyway. It was a party song after all, I thought. 

Since it was Punjabi, I never understood the lyrics. I had never even tried. But today, with every step, I tried to feel my feet, my heartbeat, my breathing pattern and the lyrics. And, for the first time, I realized I was dancing to a sad song and it felt so so good. At more than one levels, that was the kind of pain I felt.

Dil jalake roshan kita mein ta teri adaawa nu
Pipp leh ke mein challeya tere wal sigdhiya thandiya chawa nu

Samajh na paayi kyu tu mere pyaar bhare jazbaata nu
Rokh na pawaan akhiya wicho gham diya barsaata nu

Ishq Tera tadpaave...

And as the song ended, I felt liberated. I could feel my feet, I could feel the pain had subsided in the other parts of my body too, and I could feel my heart beating normally, my feet relaxed, my breathing controlled and my spirit brightened.

Sometimes, when you make a celebration of your pain, it all seems pretty. Fireworks. Dancing. Happiness. Freedom.

That's why I have a new found love for Punjabi Music! For more reasons than one. The pain, has really really gone!

And if it ever comes back, then Thursday does come once a week! :)