Saturday, October 29, 2011

Confessions

I remember when I first started blogging. The only idea of my musings being published online was so amazing that I didn't quite understand what blogging really meant, then. Eventually, I made this an online diary, where I shared my deepest secrets and feelings, through poetries, wrote incidences which cracked me up, wrote fictions which were always a part of my dreams.. Did so much here!!

But lately, I have been bad. Bad towards Obscure Optimist. Whenever I'd be confused I would turn towards this blog and express my heart out, my way!!

But lately, I must admit, I created another blog. Nobody knows about it. That blog is just to vent out my feelings, in a very very honest and outright way. I do not have to mock my feelings there and write all goody goody stuff or creative stuff. I can be harsh, write about my frustrations, accept openly about my failures and desperation and write about my expectations from life.

Here, I cannot do that, I realised. Because, this blog is a place where every thing finds a creative way of confession. Every expression comes out poetically, or in a form of a story. This is not a personal garbage dump station. This is no crap bag.

I feel I have treated Obscure Optimist, step motherly. And I feel very bad.
I haven't stopped writing. Its just that I have stopped expressing creatively. And I want to get back to it. This stigma eats me up from within, and I thought, expressing this obscurity would be the beginning.

I want to be an honestwriter. True blogger, without any pretence or mockery.

It may be judged as another writer's block. But it really isn't.

This time, it's a liver's block!!

I want to get back to living... and writing creatively. Both! Because, I think, that's how I live!