Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Highway Glory

A daily trip to my office ;)  through the highway makes me observe all the different kinds of people, the way they dress, the way they stand, sit, talk, move, tie their hair and even ride their bikes and drive their cars.
I had been noticing this since quite sometime now and I think there are four types of riders/drivers.
1. The Gods : These are the kind of riders who think they are the God of the roads (pun intended). They think that the roads belong to their fathers-in-law and the roads would eventually be bestowed upon them with dignity as a dowry.They ride/drive their vehicles as if they have supervised the construction of the raod, they know that every drop of Tar on the road is equivalent to every drop of sweat their imaginary fathers-in law must have put in to construct the road just for these rash rider sons-in law.
The roads out rightly belong to these Gods. They drive like they don‘t care who exists. They will move on with full speed, dash things here and there if it comes in their way or make the co-riders feel like shit. They will never go below 80kmph on their speedometer and they never apply brakes unless they reach their destinations.
These riders/drivers normally do not have a pillion or a company to travel with. They think they are cousins of Michael Schumacher and their little hatchback is a ferrari.
These people are seldom scared of death.
How to spot them : When they are moving, you know how to spot them. When they are not, they are seen preparing themselves for the ride, wearing gloves, glares, showing off fancy helmets and costly shoes.
The dudes who fall in this category have really amazing girlfriends. But they rarely take them on the Godly trips that they fancy.
The real Gods do not know what to do with this kind of riders. Therefore at times, the riders meet with accidents because they so... put the real Gods in confusion.

2. The humans : This category of riders and drivers are pretty okay and normal on the highway. They move with a steady speed of 40 kmph and follow all traffic rules.  They are family people with a specific purpose and value for life. They are also concerned about their fellow riders and in mutual understanding and co-ordination, they try to make the road a peaceful place to ride bikes on.
The people who fall in this category are seen advising the people who belong to „The Gods“ category, asking them to slow down and remain human. These  people love their bikes/cars and slow down once they see a road bump. They are more concerned about the wellness of their vehicles than that of their spine.
How to spot them :The dudes who fall in this category, normally, are accompanied by a lady who is either wife or a girlfriend of the rider. The car drivers who fall in this category normally travel with people because the other people find these drivers trustworthy. They are seen wearing seat belts and making gestures to ensure peace with other fellow drivers on the highway.  They take responsibility to communicate in order to avoid a mishap and they are as concerned about others as they are about themselves.
The real Gods love this category of people.

3. The animals : This category of people are those who cannot stop blabbering even while they are riding or driving. They think they have the onus of educating people how to drive on a highway. They are least concerned about the speed that their speedometer shows. They are more concerned about the speed with which the other person on road is riding. They happen to scream at every other rider claiming that the other person has broken the rules.  
At times they stop the movement on the road and get into a fight stopping the entire traffic. They normally do not carry licenses with them. They stare at every vehicle that passes by and pass a comment. If a women is riding a bike or driving a car, „the animals“ stare at these women and immediately categorize them into „babe, lady, aunty“ and accordingly pass a comment.
These riders think that women cannot ride/drive properly. They are woman haters. At times these riders also make use of rods/sticks/stones to throw at fellow riders if anything pisses them off.
This kind of riders feel at peace once they have gotten into atleast one fight while reaching a destination.
How to spot them : This kind of riders never look forward while driving. They are always observing their surroundings and co-drivers. They are either humming a song or singing out loud or talking to themselves looking for a reason to get into a fight. They normally move with a speed of 40 kmp – 60kmph.
The real Gods are confused about these kind of drivers. They are fogiven most of the times.

4. The aliens : This category consists of people who claim to know perfect traffic rules and follow them meticulously. Actually they know nothing about rules and follow some traffic rules that makes sense on Mars. They  honk horns all the time because they fear that they might get hit with something. They foresee something and take immediate preventive measures. They are very scared of mishaps and ride/drive vehicles at a very slow speed. There are times when they drive at 40 kmph too, but that is the maximum that they can get to.
They normally prefer to pillion ride but constantly throw orders to the rider/driver to keep it slow.
These kind of riders do not gel with the traffic and seem totally out of place. The co-riders are normally frustrated because of these kind of riders/drivers.
Did i mention that they honk horns incessantly. They stop abruptly on roads and take weird turns all of a sudden. They do not understand what the normal traffic is moving like. Instead of following the other vehicles, they do their own thing and get into embarrassing situations. They are totally imperfect riders because they claim to love life more than anything.
How to spot them : They will honk horns even if the road is clear. They are an imaginary lot who foresee impossible things and react immediately and unreasonably. They claim to know traffic rules really well. They just seem too unsuitable in the entire chaotic traffic. They look confused all the time.
The real Gods keep giving them lessons through people who fall in „the human“ category. But the aliens refuse to learn.

I fall in category no. 4.
How about you?