Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Crush Factor

It was a beautiful monsoon evening. I had a deep urge of having a corn treat. But I had no company. I thought I better explore the familiar streets all alone. I always despised doing that, but the urge to relish a corn snack made me do the unreasonable.
As I approached the stall a strong aroma of butter and corn tempted me all the more. My weaknesses surfaced and I greedily ordered two sweet corns with butter.
A succession of thoughts engulfed me while I looked around and observed the vehicles pass by. Suddenly, I saw a familiar face. It was ‘X’. Almost all the girls I knew, in my high school, had a crush on him. Going by math, I’d say he had 9/10 female fan following from our batch. I was one of them too. Every time I saw him, I would be amazed at the way he walked; talked, dressed, smiled… everything he did seemed perfect. He would kill people with his eyes.
But that day, I realized a lot had changed. He looked weak; his eyes had lost the spark, his smile had lost the charm. He crouched while he walked. I assumed that he was suffering from a grave illness. Or was he studying too much that made him ruin his health? Or did he do something nefarious and doped himself to this state? Mind was framing irrational questions.
I was sure he wouldn’t recognize me. He didn’t. But I realized that the attraction factor had become zero. I did not find him a “crush material” anymore. I wondered how dynamic the emotions were.
I called up a common friend to enquire what was up with ‘X’ and that was when I came to know that he was in a rehab for almost 2 years. He was addicted to alcoholism. His charm had vanished, and had the attraction.
I had decided to explore a familiar street and indeed I came back home with an outcome. There are things beyond mere appearances and those things are very profound. The dynamics of emotions can put you in places where it is really difficult to accept certain things. The appearances will change with time. But acceptance to something more than appearance is foremost and that would keep a relationship going to the very end.
The first step would be accepting ourselves the way we are….
…..and learning to have fun all alone while relishing a sweet corn on a beautiful monsoon evening.